Has is for singular nouns right? lol. XD What a way to start my blog. haha! The awkwardness in the title is killing me, seriously! XD
Just going to blog/write this down since it's my way to calm myself or forget about things.
Yesterday...
We had school yesterday, and since it was Wednesday, we had 3 classes, Macroeconomics, Biological Science and the class that I've been looking forward to this semester, Speech Communication. I've been looking forward to this Speech communication class because 1.) I fail so much at speaking. I'm more of the writer person than the speaker one, so even though I can fully construct a decent English sentence in my mind, I can never deliver it nicely. :| 2.) My favorite subject is English. Our Speech subject serves as our English subject, so it basically became my favorite subject. and 3.) The professor. When we first met our professor, I was impressed at how he kind of has this British accent when he speaks, I was certain that I would learn a lot from him.
Anyway, as a part of my great appreciation for this class, I used my yellow (my favorite color) filler for this class and it's even the first filler that you'll see when you open my binder. Yes, I'm biased that way. :) I've been doing this since High School actually. I always made sure that my English notebook has the best cover. haha!
the irony of life strikes again...
Speech Communication class came, I was in the front row since we were arranged alphabetically and I actually liked my seat because I could fully focus on the board and just ignore the noise that some of my classmates are making at the back rows. I was kind of confident because I reviewed our last lecture during our break. He came, we prayed, took our seats and he told us to get a piece of paper because we were going to have an exercise. When he was dictating the questions, I was already gathering everything that I could remember on our last lecture. When it was time to answer, I answered quickly because I was afraid that I might forget the things that I can remember. lol. Then he spoke and told us that we can actually open our notes during exercises. I was so shocked and I guess quite pissed when I heard it (because I was literally stressing myself out from trying to remember the things that I've read) that I verbally reacted, "Ano ba yan!" (I actually said it in a jokingly manner, "Ano be yen!") (it means like "What was that?" or "What's up with that?") I took out my binder and then it came... "Ano ba yan? Who said that?" our professor literally shouted. I was so surprised and scared when I heard that. The first thing that came to my mind was "uh oh. good luck in my English grade." I slowly raised my hand and he looked at me and asked me why I said it. I just shook my head and he asked why I reacted that way blah blah blah and he even asked if I was questioning his credibility as a professor. (I don't even know why it got to that point!) He even asked me if I have proven anything yet blah blah blah and of course I said "No, sir." and he kept going... "I've been teaching for ** years.." "you haven't proven anything yet..." The words just kept on coming, my legs were literally shaking. I was really planning on explaining my side, like how my comment was not really to insult him or anything, or how I'm just like that when I react but it really doesn't mean anything. Honestly, when I said that, insulting him or questioning his credibility never came in my mind. It was a PURE reaction. I'm a living thing so I react to stimulus. lol. Anyway, I controlled myself from talking/explaining and I just said "Sorry sir." When the whole "drama" was finished, we got back to answering. I thought it was over but he got our record sheet or whatever. (after seeing that, I just focused on answering my paper and I ignored whatever he was doing) But one of my classmates told me that he wrote something on my paper. When I was answering, horrible scenarios flashed in my head, like what if he gives me a 5 on out final grade? or what if I get a low grade because of it? What would my parents say? Tears just started pouring, like literally. lol. I can't stop it.
Thankful...
He went outside to check if our textbooks were already available. I was still trying my best to calm myself but I just can't. Suddenly, my very close friend Xy, came to me and comforted me. :) I really cried even more. lol. Then my other friends came, the ILLUMINAS. :) They came to my seat and comforted me. They kept on telling me that it was okay or that they understand why I reacted that way. At that moment, I was really grateful for having such caring friends on my side, but I was still worried about our professor. I was still worried on how it would affect my grade.
"Forget about it" and "Don't do it again"
When our professor came back, he started talking about our book blah blah blah. At that moment I was preparing on apologizing after praying. We prayed and when he was walking passed me, I apologized. He said "forget about it and don't do it again." and I said "yes sir" in between sobs. Then I said "It was not my intention to disrespect you sir, I'm sorry" He just said "Just forget about it."
Moving on and staying strong...
The incident would not change my love for the English subject, but it did change my impression on our professor. I was really looking up to him, I guess now.. not so much anymore. I still can't accept the fact that he assumed those things right away. I get angry at my parents when they assume things and I feel the same way towards him. How can one comment mean disrespecting him or questioning his credibility? It's unfair on my part. And if I explained my side, I know things would just get worse. Where's the democracy? Where's the freedom of speech? Nevertheless, I know I was wrong too, I shouldn't have made that comment, but like what I said, it was a PURE reaction.
This incident made me want to study harder and do a GREAT job in our Speech class, I want to show him my English abilities, I want to prove to him that he messed with the wrong student and I want to get high scores in his tests and say "IN YOUR FACE!"
Excelling in his class will serve as my revenge. Hey, it's like hitting two birds with one stone. HAHA! Excelling in his class = Proving to him that I'm not stupid + Getting good grades. Actually, three birds. lol. Revenge without doing anything bad or stupid. That's the perfect plan right? :)
We only live once, so move on and learn from the experience.
0 comments:
Post a Comment